Flower-Filled World

Moving to an island in the Caribbean has brought yet another flaw of mine to the surface with a force so strong that it could be compared to a pot of soup boiling over the edges so hard such as to seek a cooler place to settle than within that high pressure pot. This flaw that has boiled over has proven to break right to the core of who I am. I am a helper, and I sought out the medical profession in hopes that I could put that part of my character to work. Not only am I a helper, but God made me a tender-hearted helper. My helping tender-heart works with purpose and diligence, sometimes without even me noticing. I came to this island to attend medical school, but along the way, my helping heart started noticing things that needed improvement in the student/community volunteer-services end. There are so many gaps of need that aren’t fulfilled. I had been more involved in my hometown community than these gaps could even touch, so it was natural of me to believe that I could help out somehow to bridge these huge gaps of volunteer needs. The spunky dreamer within me was noticed and I have been rewarded with cabinet positions in several clubs at the medical school. People even began to come to me with even more ideas of how we can help out the citizens of the community. These ideas along with my own ideas that had been sparked to life, were beautifully brainstormed. These ideas would prove to do so much good to help the community and spark a passion within people to continue these processes! 

I imagined Beth Moore standing in front of my face with one hand on her spunky little hip, while using her other hand to point a finger at me. It was as if God spoke to me in a precious, but authoritative Beth Moore voice saying, “Girl! Are you ready for this? Because, I’m about to burst your pretty little bubble on Life! You have got this all wrong! Nothing You can can do, my darlin’, can ever bring about a happy little flower-filled world.” 

After trying and trying to spark my plans of community involvement to life, the spark got a bucket of water poured all over it. Every single person on the boards of the community programs, the school's authorities, and even the government's spokespeople around me constantly told me things I could not do. I could not do this. I could not do that. I might as well not do that. Not one person, not ONE, told me what I “could” do. Not one told me what I could make work, but all told me what I could not make work. The negativity that met my attempts was so overwhelming that even a customs officer in the States would show more mercy than the gates of detainment that were slammed shut on my attempts of crossing a line from “Onlooker" to “Difference Maker”.

The inside of my soul boiled over so hard and so fast that I couldn’t contain it. I found that the heart of my disappointment came from the heart of my attempts. Although this was happening only on one certain island and among a one certain type of people, for one certain attempt of satisfying a service of volunteerism, couldn’t this also be applied to future attempts of helping? It was then that I realized my greatest fear: trying so hard to help a patient and having the door slammed on my attempts from a negativity within my patient. How do you help a person or a group of people that constantly beg you for help but shut doors on your attempts? Would there be a day that a patient asks for help, but when I try so hard to help, he or she shuts doors on my diligent attempts to help? My attempts would only wear me thin and get my patient no where unless I have their cooperation in helping me accomplish the end results. 

As I pondered this, I hear God speaking in that cute Beth Moore voice again, “Baby girl, give them to Me! Rest your weary little hands in My lap and give them over to Me. I can make the pretty little flower-filled world you love so much. Watch me work, darlin’, because no door will shut on My attempts. No man will silence my plans. No ONE can stop the driving force of My love for them.” 

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."